Sometimes

I think about being in your arms sometimes
with my head turned, cheek against your chest.
You were the only one
who held me the way I liked,
close in warmth,
long moments with your hands
caressing my spine.
You're still the only one.

But I only think of you sometimes.

You know you lost my trust
just as you knew I rarely give that prize.
But you still had a chance
to regain some friendship, if nothing else.
Maybe you'd have spoken
if you'd realized it was your last.
But you let it pass by
without a word.

And so
I only think of you sometimes.

Holding on to letting go

A song kept flowing through my head yesterday and this morning
It took a little searching to find this pretty melody
though the result was not surprising.
And now the song is flowing past my ears
over headphones set too loud
drowning out most of the nose
the berthing cleaners seemed determined to make.

"Now I Let It Go"
The irony of the title is not lost on me
not when I'm trying to let go of
the tensions and distractions that hold me back from sleep.

A sharp violin and soft guitar background.
I wish I could crawn into those notes, wrap them around me
breathe them in
until the annoyances that plague me
disappear behind a sweet shield of music.

I can feel the edge of sleep
almost there, yet just beyond touch
As each vibration of strings brings it closer
a voice, or careless slam of a rack drives it further away.

I close my eyes and try not to scream
at the cruel noises distracting me
And try to hold closer yet the sharp sweet music.

---

Special thanks to "Now I Let It Go" - From Moby's Animal Rights for helping me sleep.

sometimes the silence

sometimes the silence is the only way
to find the balance
you want to talk, to say the truth
but it will only end
in a fight
or reprisal
probably both
and although it is truth that they need to hear
the words would just be ignored
in a fit of pride

and so
the silence usually wins

Glen: Last Flight

(a Second Light poem)

Did you feel
boarding the plane
Someone Else
finished your concert?

Did you feel it
inside, in the secret place
a trembling hiding between the notes
with the engine's start?

Are you your music?
It's the one thing we haven't lost.

this place

I'm trying to think of ways to describe this place.
The first words I find are
painless and numb.
There's noise eveywhere but it still seems quiet,
like it can never be loud enough
to cover the silence.
There is no difference from day to night,
just lights that never fade or dim
and never brighten.
Time is marked
by clocks and bells
but days never change.

Another Dream

I dreamt of you today
again, yet unlike before.
I don't remember what we said,
only that you leaned in,
your lips close to my ear
and we simply talked.

Dreaming

It's been a long time since I felt you last
close to a year
but you were there the other night
bushing up against my mind for a second or two .

Somehow I think
maybe you were dreaming of me
only you haven't realized it yet
haven't found me
or my words about you.

But perhaps in that dream
you found your way to me
if only for a few moments.